failed entries + i have become insane

22/9/2024

i have two posts i started to make for here without seeing them through to the end and i wanted to finally get them out here in some way. they were a bit time-sensitive so i was going to just abandon them, but i figured i'd just put them both together and call it a day... better late than never, i guess!! i also included something recent i wanted to talk about at the end!

anime north 2024

this is an OLD one. anime north is an anime convention in ontario that i've been going to for years now. it usually takes place in april/may, so you can see how long i've been sitting on this...

as always, it was really fun this year!! i don't really partake in any con activities beyond shopping, but i love shopping so that is enough for me to have a great time. as always, i got some great stuff, and it was also my first time taking part in a stamp rally!

in recent years i've been making an effort to avoid buying prints. i just don't have any room left on my walls whatsoever. but i can never get away without at least a few... looking back at this picture now, i bought a lot more dungeon meshi stuff than i thought! i remember leaving and thinking "it's not enough... i need more..." LOL. to be fair, the top two rows of stickers were the free reward from finishing the stamp rally, but actually purchasing two phone charms and three stickers is more than enough, i think!

my biggest targets this year for merch were laios (dungeon meshi), bocchi (bocchi the rock), frieren (frieren) and himmel (frieren), and considering i fulfilled 3/4 of those i think i did pretty good! hopefully i'll get my hands on a himmel next year...

aside from shopping, this year was marked by a lot of furious sewing from me... i was working on stuff every day for a week straight while also working leading up to the con, and there were days when i'd come home and still have some sewing to do... you can see the fruits of my labour on my scrapbook page! i'm really proud of the dress i made myself, and the skirt i made my friend turned out so gorgeous i'm still kinda mad i had to give it away!!!

i also found the con to be a lot less stinky this year. ontario weebs i'm so proud of u

my life at 26!

my birthday was august 30th! i had a pretty relaxed one this year. on the day itself i stayed home, ordered my favourite take-out, and goofed off as usual. this is how i prefer to spend the actual day, honestly! just taking time to relax and be by myself and do whatever i like, then have a fun celebration with friends on a different day.

for that different day, my friends and i went to the zoo! a while ago me and one of my friends were talking about not having been in a long time and wanting to go, but when we pitched it to everyone the response was mediocre. originally we were just going to go the two of us, but then i was like wait, i have a birthday, i can just force everyone to come? and i'm glad i did! it was a lot of wholesome fun with everyone there.

in my friend group, i've started "opting out" of birthday gifts at the start of the year if i don't think i'll be able to afford to give a gift to everyone. basically saying because i cannot afford to spoil you, i do not want you to spoil me on my birthday. i want to stress this is a purely financial thing, and i genuinely love giving my friends gifts when i am in a position to afford it! but if i know i can't return the love, i don't want my friends to feel obligated to give me something. having been raised especially conscious of the weight of money also makes it a little uncomfortable for me to receive without giving, if that makes sense? that being said, i have very kind friends, and a lot of them usually give me some kind of gift anyway... this year was no exception, and i got gifted a lot of really lovely little knick knacks!! i'm really blessed to have such kind hearted friends who always make my birthday special for me regardless.

i have become insane

a few weeks ago i finally sat down and watched golden kamuy all the way through (excluding season five, which is not out yet). i've started watching golden kamuy twice in the past, but failed to make it past season one both times despite enjoying it immensely. in general, i struggle to watch things longer than 12 episodes unless i'm watching it with someone who will keep me in check... i also tried starting the manga at one point in the past, but ultimately failed on that front as well.

this time i was victorious though! and it kind of drove me insane! i watched all of it in like two days, then immediately watched it again with a friend of mine, then read the manga, and now i'm watching it again with my boyfriend. this has all happened within the span of three weeks, mind you. it's been a really really long time since i've enjoyed a piece of fiction so thoroughly that it is occupying almost all of my thoughts. i haven't read fanfiction in years, but i've already completed the ao3 sugiomoto/ogata tag. i'm writing my own fic too. or at the very least, i am thinking about a very particular, very morally bankrupt alternate universe scenario every night while trying to sleep.

a big part of this has to do with the character ogata hyakunosuke. i have never felt this way about a character before. i do not even recognize myself. about a year ago i ruthlessly bullied my friend for saying she wanted to put a picture of gojo jujutsu kaisen in a heart locket. i had to apologize her because i found myself wanting to do the same thing with ogata. i printed his face onto shirts. i'm working on getting a keychain made. my friend found his nendoroid in a shop in the philippines and her mom is bringing it over for me. my friend that is in japan right now is bringing me merch of him. i am reaching levels of homemade fan merch and official merch importing never before seen by the likes of me. it's dire i fear!!!

but truly, i think creator satoru noda engineered this character in a lab for me. an insane sexy catboy that is so psychologically unwell playing the wildcard role in a cast of highly motivated individuals. it was so over for me from the start. i need to get him pregnant. i need to exchange long discourse messages with a likeminded individual about his psyche. i'm working on a shrine for this site.

ogata isn't the only thing i like about golden kamuy though! i genuinely love all the characters, and noda did such an incredible job with the plot and the themes he hit... i've written in a previous media log entry here that i believed noda's other work, DOGSRED, was hand-crafted to suit me. after finally completing golden kamuy, i am now convinced that whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same. at the end of the day, there is nothing i love more than a compelling work that doesn't take itself too seriously. the stupid goofiness paired next to heavy exploration of concepts like war, love, upbringing, and loyalty is the perfect way to make a work feel truly human, i think! and while it isn't without its flaws of course, i do think golden kamuy has a place as one of the manga greats!!

and some bonus stuff!

aside from golden kamuy, i've been having a bit of a rough go of it recently!! i have some kind of mystery illness that has been bothering me since july, but no matter how much work i get done everything comes back saying i'm healthy? i mostly feel fine too, aside from a harsh cough and some vomitting, and i'm definitely not contagious since it's been two months now and i'm the only person i know who is like this. i'll speak on this a bit more in a future entry where i'll talk about the trip i was on from late july-early august, but i'm very put out about it and wanted to complain more here!!

on the bittersweet side, i've taken a medical leave from work since i can't really help customers in this state, and i've had a lot of free time to do fun things! i made a few tweaks to this site that i've wanted to do for a really long time and i'm hoping to keep this momentum going forward. that being said, the school semester just started back up and i'm moving in october, so i may not get to do very much for a little while... it's on the brain for sure though!!

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